Toy Story 2: Requiem

This is pretty genius--a mashup of Toy Story 2 and Requiem for a Dream. I still feel dirty every time I think of the latter film. Darren Aronofsky and Cubby Selby stole my innocence.

Skoolz Out For-Ever

This was the "outline" for my final big paper for grad school. Though I knew it would be good for me professionally, I don't think I had any idea as to the depth of knowledge and skills that it would provide. Thank you UT, I owe you one.

Tribute to Josef

This is Josef.

This is from Thanksgiving. Being a good sport, Josef allowed his niece to tie a bunch of scrunchies into his hair. Make it work!

Here's a picture of Josef belting out a very special version of Heart's "Alone." He rocked the karaoke world.


This will help you to picture this key karaoke moment in time.

Yum for the Holidaze

I went to my local HEB here in Austin on Saturday and discovered that it was a holiday madhouse. An Xmas youth choir was singing, Elvis was slinking around, and Santa was "Ho-Hoing" somewhere out of sight.

What caught my eye, however, was these two beautiful purchase options. The first is the infamous Tur-Duc-Hen. If you've never had this culinary science experiment you just haven't lived. It's stuffing inside a chicken stuffed inside a duck stuffed inside a turkey. No bones, much deliciousness.

The second item is a cake formed in the shape of a turkey, complete with frosting stuffing. The whole thing is made of meringue, which just seems weird, but I couldn't take my eyes off of it.

Famile Friendly Fun

Many people, when they want a little cultish, quasi-religious music in their lives immediately turn to the Polyphonic Spree. Yes, I am in Texas and would love to support the locals (though, really, they are from Dallas so who gives a shit?), but I find their choir robes annoying...even if they have moved on to military garb, as I've read they recently did. There is something annoying and calculated about it that I can't explain.

The Brian Jonestown Massacre are a little more my speed. Charlie Manson, guns, feuds, and fights all rolled into one. The dark soul ego oozing out of Anton make them entertaining, if a little uneven. Cocaine--it's a hell of a drug.

There is one band that brings the uplifting together with the secret dark spaces and some catchy costumes in a way that I actually love. The Danielson Famile. Ever since the first album I heard by them, Tell Another Joke at the Ol' Chopping Block, I have been captivated. Whether it's Brother Danielson on his own or with the family, there is something about his screeching vocals that makes my skin crawl as it uplifts my heart. The Famile has never "gotten big" beyond the initial hype with indie kids around the release of the first album, and rightfully so. Brother Daniel hasn't ever really deviated from his mission of screeching out the word of Jesus, which makes a lot of people a little uncomfortable.

The reason I bring up the Jesus in Danielson is I read on the dreaded Pitchfork that there is a documentary about the Danielson Famile on its way. I simply cannot wait. (As if it's really coming soon to any theater near me.)

Here's the movie site: Danielson: A Family Movie
And here's the trailer, which looks awesome: Danielson trailer

Boobies of the Dead

I saw this in the window of a random shop on my way to Poison Girl in Houston the other night. It made me think of the (NSFW) porno version of Re-Animator that I read about a while ago. But less about the gore and more about the cheesiness of boobie novelties.

When I was really young and living in Pueblo, Colorado, we used to get a charge out of going to Spencers (was it ever subversive, or was that just my sheltered upbringing? I think in the '70s it was definitely a cultural threat) and looking at the adult novelties there. Now that I look back on them, they were pretty tame--fake sweaters to warm your tackle box, naughty party games, wind up penises that jumped around, and nudie jigsaw puzzles. The big thing to do was to go to the jigsaw puzzle and dig out the "guide" photo of the naked woman (since they couldn't put nudity on the puzzle can) and steal it. Much nervous looking and giggling would follow.

Ceci n'est pas l'art

Found this on a wall where I sit to wait for my bus. I love lightening bolts almost as much as I love stars. Perhaps those sharp edges get me all worked up.

Triangle Man Hates Particle Man

Saw this on my way from the Menil Museum in Houston. It was an almost fitting endnote to the Klee retrospective there.

After complaining that I was writing too many grafitti posts, I returned to Texas and found that my favorite Austin poster grafitti artists are either dormant or moved along. Very depressing...my ride to school is much less sanguine without it.

Tejas Bugout

This huge katydid is from the Houston Natural History Museum. HUGE!

We saw the little preying mantis stick buggy thing on Bull Creek trail in Austin. He was just giving us directions. I'd never seen a brown preying mantis before.

Cool News Usage Visual Aggregator

Ever wonder what people in India are paying attention to in the news? newsmap is a Flash-based interface that takes Google News aggregator information and represents it as an image map. You can choose your country of interest (or all) and the news stories of interest show up with size of the box representing amount of news around it.

The site's been around since 2004, so it's nothing new, but definitely makes the news prettier than it's looked to me for a while.

The Way You Act a Fool Son You Can't Erase

So for those of you who have real jobs, you may not know this. I may be performing a public service right now. Here goes: Spike TV has been showing old episodes of The Equalizer in the mornings. You may be saying to yourself, "Boy, he's making the most of his time at school." Actually, I was using it as background to writing a paper on a personal information management software tool.

Anyway, let's just say that The Equalizer sucks. The music by Stewart Copeland? Awful. The acting? Gawd. The plots? Puhleaze. Edward Woodward? Actually the best part of the show, though that's not saying much. The thing that makes it so awesome is that it is so awful, and this particular episode featured the nascent acting talents of the Beastie Boys' Adrock, a.k.a. Adam Horovitz. He went on to star in Lost Angels and Roadside Prophets, but neither comes close to attaining the suckitude of his performance as the titular "Mama's Boy" Ronald Baines.

So, to you Equalizer, I raise my glass in tribute. 1985 was a fine year.

Muppets via India

For some reason my friend Josef, who is in India right now on business, is spending lots of time watching my favorite song from the Muppet Show. While this confuses me, I am eternally grateful for the chance to link to this beautiful song.

Menomenah.

NOLA Rising

I snapped a picture of this street art in the warehouse district of New Orleans in early September. It was the first time we had been back since Katrina, and we had an excellent time doing things that we don't normally do in the Crescent City.

First, no, we didn't go driving around the 9th Ward to take a look. There is that part of me that wanted to--to be a witness to what happened as a result of the storm and what hasn't happened since. There are even tours that you can take. In the end it didn't feel right.

Our favorite hotel, the Lamothe House, wasn't open for this trip, so we stayed at a place way up in the Garden District, the Avenue Inn. Very nice change, though with the St. Charles streetcar still offline it was a little more challenging to get around. We did get to explore the GD a little more than we had in the past, so it was well worth it.

It happened to be Southern Decadence while we were there. It was a lot more interesting walking around the Quarter with that scene unfolding around us. Gay community parties are always so much more entertaining, though we could have done without seeing so many hairy asses. I guess it added to the fun.

So, for those of you unsure about visiting, NOLA's French Quarter and Garden District are alive and well and everyone seemed to really appreciate having tourists back adding to the economy.

Mummy Mania

So, I was flipping around the channels on a Saturday night, stuck in the house with my wife who had nasal surgery a week ago and is still on the mend, when I discover a show with one of the best titles ever: Mummy Autopsy. It was all about scientists figuring out how (mostly) ancient peoples managed to die and be mummified. One of the scientists helping the MIs (Mummy Investigators, how ridiculously awesome is that?) had the title of Osteoanthropologist, which I thought was pretty cool.

Trying to find the show's website on the Discovery Channel supersite, I came upon a minisite called Mummy Mania. I will surmise that they are trying to do for mummies what they successfully were able to do for sharks. While I LOVE mummies, I think it will be difficult to drum up the same frenzy that you get for great whites.

The Pelvis

Contrary to what you might surmise from my eating habits documented in my previous post, I do have to often wear belts. I love this belt buckle. It was given to me by my friend Julie in 2000. Unfortunately, I don't wear it often for a couple of reasons. First, is that Meg White of the White Stripes was photographed wearing one very similar to it soon after it was given to me. I didn't want anyone to compare my body with Meg White's, for sure. The other reason is that, if you can't tell, the bottom part is kind of sharp, so this belt wasn't made for sittin' as it pokes into my pubic bone if I sit for too long.

The thing that's funny about this picture is it shows me that my camera takes pictures backwards. No, I do not love SIVLE. Though I might if there were a SIVLE to love.

The Morality of the Stomach

Would you eat this? I can barely look at it. Still, this is what I ate last week--a pile of meat with mustard drizzle. My only excuse, beyond the pathetic "I live alone" argument--is that my classes are at such weird times that I don't really have a chance to be hungry enough to eat. Thus, at the last second I am scrambling to find something simple that will allow me to get through class before I can come home and eat properly.

Scary but true.

Last Minute Project Runway

I haven't blogged about Project Runway at all this season. Don't confuse this with any loss of interest on my part. This season was rife with characters from day one. Unfortunately, my favorite vampire, Malan (above), was cut on the second show. Luckily, we had the insanity that is Jeffrey and the hick gaudy chic that was Kayne to keep the show flavorful to the end.

But who is going to win next week's show? I thought Michael was a shoo-in (just as I thought Kara Saun and Daniel V. were gonna take it all), but the preview pieces in EW looked a little too hootchie. It's gotta be Jeffrey, right? Right?

But who can really resist a designer with the same name as the Knight Rider?

My Life as an Underdog

The Howard Stern show has been in a kind of flashback mode for the past couple of days. First Pat Cooper was on, who really doesn't do much for me, but a nice blast from the past. Today, though, the show featured Suzanne Muldowney a.k.a. the Underdog woman. She called in to talk about a documentary on her life called My Life as an Underdog, which looks absolutely bizarre. The phone call was a hilarious trainwreck and ended with Suzanne hanging up after getting her plug in and avoiding talking about her sex life and breast implants. Or at least talking about them much. In any case, it was great to catch up with the real Underdog.

Iggy's Fun House

The Smoking Gun has a copy of the current iteration of Iggy & the Stooges' concert rider, and let me tell you it should come with its own drummer to provide rim shots...hilarious! A sampling of the classic moments:

Referring to bass hero Mike Watt as an "internet Pepys or Boswell, except without the gout or the syphyllis."

On the request for an English speaking monitor tech: "...in Santiago de Compostela, in Northern Spain, they appear to think - if they just ignore riders like this, then supply a fat, bearded hippy with a digital monitor desk (doh!) who doesn't know shit about eq'ing...And that if they deny that their gear is no good, that it will suddenly, mysteriously become good."

"For the sidefills, can we have to great big enormous things please, of the type that might be venerated as gods by the inhabitants of Easter Island, capable of reaching volumes that would make Beelzebub soil his underpants..."

And that's just the third page! There are like 18 pages of the roadie Schecky Green show. Good to see that music isn't all about turning the fans upside down and shaking them until all the change falls out of their pockets.

DIY Ringtones

So I have always hated the fact that I have to buy ringtones of songs that I already own. This is really true when the ringtone just isn't right. You know what I mean, you preview it on the mobile phone website and either the volume is off or the clip was so lazily made that it doesn't even get the best part of the song.

A while back I had searched for ways to make your own ringtones and came up empty. First you have the problem of making the tone, which is easily overcome if you have a tool like SoundForge or some other editing software for MP3s. But then you need to get it to your phone. That was a puzzler for me.

So I finally did another search the other day, thinking that maybe someone had solved the problem. Sure enough, there were a whole slew of products--all of them fairly inexpensive or freeware. I chose AudioGizmo because I am a sucker for reputation reviews. As you can see from the pic, AudioGizmo is pretty straight forward if you've done any sort of audio editing. It has the basic tools you'll need to take an MP3, snip out the part you want, create a fade in and out, and adjust the amplification to make it loud enough. Then you just press the upload button and it sends it to their servers while sending an SMS message to your phone so you can retrieve it.

The main drawbacks are with transparency on the phone side. I got a lot of errors about incorrect file type or that the download stalled. Frustrating because these often came with hefty bytes transferred, and since most cell plans put you on a budget of megabytes per month this could be a problem. An additional problem is in the fact that cell phones are still limited in the amount of hard drive space they carry, so you have to be careful about how large the file is and weigh that against the quality of the file. Compression becomes a real issue. Since the phone company has a vested interest in you purchasing your tones from them they are definitely not going to make it easy for you to make your own.

On the plus side, after some futzing with the file I was able to upload the exact ringtone that I wanted--The Mummies singing "Stronger Than Dirt"--a tone that I would have never been able to get off of the Cingular site. Just the way I like it.

Keywords are Fun

These are my favorite keywords that have brought people to my blog recently:

celebrityskin, green bud sf, othar turner blog, and the dreaded hipster beard.

My favorite by far, however, is mosquito wristband sores. I only wish the picture that I took lived up to such a beautiful search query.

Chocolate Leche

Anyone who knows me really well...and that is a select group, a tortured select group...knows that I had a revelation when I moved to Houston. It was there that I ate my first piece of Tres Leches cake. There is nothing like good Tres Leches.

For my birthday last year Sara gave me the best present...she made me her version of Tres Leches, and I loved it. In fact, she left me 3/4 of the cake when she drove home. I ate as much of it as I could. If you haven't had the joy of tasting this baked finery, it is some of the richest, sweetest, sensuous desserts you can imagine.

You can imagine how I felt when I heard that a Houston restaurant, Ruggles, was serving a chocolate Tres Leches cake. I forced Sara to take me there right when I arrived last week. While it was delicious, the chocolate flavor overwhelmed the sweet milky goodness and fruit garnish. I did think is was delicious, but next time I will try their standard version. I am certain it is going to curl my toes.

Unsolved Again

Another mysteriously dead body on my walking route. This time it had a partner about 10 feet away. It was just laying on the path to the library at my school. Sticky blood trickle on the ground and no one cared. It was right by a classroom and the professor actually glared at me as I stopped to check out the body. I guess death is an unwanted diversion.

This one may have an explanation, though. Big window with an bright, open class behind it. Bodies about three feet from the window. Obviously the professor is the murderer. Lucky I got out of there when I did...I could have been next.

We Will Never Be Grups!

For those in our world that refuse to grow up, there are two new hobby purchases (read: toys) that will make that regression worthwhile. These two micro R/C toys will turn a living room into your own yes flyzone.

Of the two, the Micro Mosquito remotecopter looks the coolest--kind of like the toy attack copter level in GTASA that I failed at over and over. And if either one gets boring, you can always use it to escalate your Beetle War to a whole new level.

Micro Mosquito
Carbon Butterfly

Thanks to SlashGear

I Like My Food Like I Like My Women: Deep Fried

Let me state my bias up front: I am all for deep fried things. I have tried Twinkies, Oreos, and pickles along with the usual oil crisped products. When I read the caption of this photo from the LA Times, I threw up a little in my mouth.

Let's brush aside the fact that the image is just awesome (looks like the sandwich is being eaten by the chicken) and analyze what is really going on here. This is a deep fried chicken sandwich. No shame there. Swiss cheese? DEE-licious! But it is being served on a Krispy Kreme doughnut. That pushes it over the edge for me. I've tried a Monte Cristo sandwich and was able to eat and enjoy a couple of bites, but this mixing of savory and super sweet is simply beyond me.

I leave it to you to form your own opinion on the matter, but your views may affect my opinion of you in the future. Choose your fried foods wisely.

Beetle Battle Bots

In my never ending search for the first nanotech flea circus I came across these feisty critters. The idea is awesome...bringing battle bots into your home, teaching robot aggression to your kids at an early age. But the execution of these R/C Beetle Battlers are more high concept than delivery. Too slow, not enough smackdown. But it's a start.

If you've got IE you can watch them in all their slo mo glory. (Even the buffering is painfully slow.)

Thanks to Boing Boing for the heads up.

Toilet Report #3: West Coast Rezpect

This may look like CBGBs lite, but it is actually from my favorite San Francisco haunt, the 500 Club. Why? Well, as I posted before (top photo), there are nice things to look at while you piss. Also, not many hipster beards per capita and drinks so strong that you drink more and visit this beautiful plumbing facility often. Oh, and I saw Zach Galifianakis with his hipster beard ignoring people and listening to his walkman. Could that have been more of a pretentious hipster moment? Reminds me of the time my friend went to a party and Nick Cave walked in, took a chair into the middle of the room and began to read his book. Absurd! I love it!

So thank you 500 Club. I miss you so.

There's a War on the Streets

The Mission is filled with all different kinds of graffiti. Sometime late in spring or early summer one stenciler started putting sappy, I can only imagine ironic, slogans on the sidewalks. At saturation point other rankled people--or maybe the same artist if they were cheeky enough--started responding to them. First, someone stenciled a pile of shit with the phrase "Shut Up Honky" next to a lot of them. Then others started crossing off letters to totally change the message. And finally the lowest end, illustrated above.

Much like hipster beards, I hate ironic slogans with a passion. I don't care if people think it's really cool to go to the Attic and listen to sappy Commodores songs, this endless stream of inside jokes was tired in 1996.

SF Purty

One of the amazing fringe benefits of living with my very generous friends Michael and Mary this summer was that I was able to spend time in their garden. This bloom surprised me one afternoon.

We Will Rawk You

Meeemories. This was from Halloween 2000 when we had our last over the top party at 164 Lexington. My roommates and I (with honorary house letch Jason Consoli a.k.a. Tommy Lee) dressed as Motley Crue for our '80s metal party. I think we single handedly drove out the poor family living above us with that party.

Weeping at my SF Departure

No, none of my friends was crying at my departure back to Tejas. Instead, we were pub crawling when we noticed this statue in a beauty salon on Mission or Valencia. I think Mission. What you can't see in the picture is that the saint has open sores all over his legs. It was actually very disturbing in person. It just makes it all the more classic that he's positioned next to a Coke machine.

God, I miss San Francisco.

Scary at the Bus Station

So, they've renovated the Houston bus station. No, it isn't any cleaner or nicer. There's security at the entrance to the waiting room (and I wait, I wait, I wait), which is slightly unnerving.

But more frightening is the fellow you can see between the two fellows in the foreground, wandering back to his seat. He was in full hospital gown--including wristband and cotton ball where he got his meds in his arm. No shoes, just the shoe covers that the docs wear in surgery. I didn't want to talk to him, but I wanted to know his story! His partner was also in full hospital gear. How the hell did they get past security and where are they off to?

Lower Fillmore Art

These beautiful pieces were in adjoining doorways near Upper Playground in San Francisco.
Pretty bunny!

My alter ego.

Only five days of great weather before I head back to Houston planet.

Ah, the Modern Dealer

So I'm walking out of the 24th/Mission BART station today and some guy comes toward me with the dealer stroll--you know the one, where he's walking toward you purposefully but not looking at you, all the while mumbling his offerings so you can just hear them? This is SF, so I'm betting on the usual "sticky green bud" or "'shrooms."

But this guy has broadened his horizons: "Viagra, Levitra."

The Mission really has yuppified, obviously. You know your market, sir.

Sealife on the Streets of SF

There are often vicious battles waged on the sidewalks of the Mission, and I guess this little fella is a counterbalance to all the hate and venom being spewed. Makes you want to step on him, doesn't it?

Don't Mess With Me

I'll cough up a fireball on you, motherfucker!

The Toilet Report #2: Garden State in the Golden State

Remember that scene in Garden State? You know the one I mean. That was all I could think about as I walked into the tropical wonderland of this bathroom in Lake Tahoe. The funny part is that it is a Swiss fondue restaurant, which makes this decor choice all the more absurd.

San Francisco Bears

Anyone who knows me knows that I hate fucking Deadheads. And worse, I hate their dancing bears. This is often a troublesome fact when I spend time in San Francisco. Luckily for me, there is a graffiti artist that has taken the repeating bear and reclaimed it for those of us who think that hippies just need to die of patchuli poisoning. The best part is both of these were taken on Haight Street, just down the block from Grateful Dead central.

I love you, snaggletoothed sacred heart bears (and your little bird, too)!

The Toilet Report #1

So I'm now on a mission to uncover and bring into the harsh light of day the reality of men's toilets. I feel it is my duty to reveal the evilness of the facilities we are a) forced to use and b) make disgusting for others every day.

This lovely toilet is at my place of work. Now, I don't work at Billy Bob's strip club or the local Gas R Up. It's a Fortune 500 company. Every day I go into this bathroom and discover a little surprise. There is some guy who goes in there--again, every day--and delivers a poop with such force that it sticks to the back of the toilet and does not move no matter how often the toilet is flushed. I figure he lives on a strict diet of corn meal, sticky rice, and paste. Not only that, this colon blast comes out at such a trajectory that it nearly goes up and under the seat, a feat of physics that puzzles me endlessly.

Yes, I know this is sickening, but imagine looking at it every day. Plus, he always does it in the stall with the door that can't be easily closed. You know, the one where no matter how careful you are to try and get inertia to keep it shut will invariably creak back open once you move your hand slowly away.

So if you are as sick as I am you can click on the happy little face to see the real toilet of horrors I must face as a smiling employee each morning.

We Are the Robots vs. B.O.B.

I got these from Pitchfork's 100 best videos on YouTube.

Not much happens, but it is awesome. There is some walking. Some robosinging. Some autoturning heads. Kraftwerk flat out rules.

Which reminds me, I finally saw Greg Pak's Robot Stories, and I was really impressed with what he was able to do with such simple ideas.

I guess this is the lesson that we must learn from robot culture--keep it simple, stripped down, and streamlined. If you do it right it will be much cooler. Either that or beware: the robots are going to murder you in your sleep. Nighty night!

"Jane you ignorant slut"

In contrast, this video is fucking bananas and I love it! I cannot describe it beyond a smorgasbord of loony vomited onto my favorite Outkast tune (I just can't help it!) of all time.

Muir Woods Inhabitant

No, this isn't a severed penis. It is the mascot for UC Santa Cruz, the fightin' Banana Slugs! Better than looking at the bloated, dead face of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, right?

Sara and I went for a pair of great hikes around Muir Woods. It's amazing that it can be sooo beautiful that close to San Francisco...and that close to Hwy 1. Texas ain't got nothin' on this place.

The Watchful Eyes of Cat Toys

My roommate, Stella the Cat, has many toys. Does she like these toys? It's hard to say. I've never really seen her play with them. Since we moved (well, Mary and Michael moved while I tagged along) the toys have been arranged in a nice, neat row in front of the "fireplace." There are about 30 of them guarding me as I sack out on the sofa bed.

They talk to me at night.

Climb Aboard the Sushi Boat

Look at all that sushi! After the inevitable photo op we not only ate all of this but had a couple of more rounds.

It took all my strength not to pick up that leaf and eat it. It reminds me of some mints that I used to love.

Though Houston has some AMAZING sushi restaurants, Zaoh here in San Francisco will always be my main go-to spot for cheap, good sushi. It's good to come back for a visit.

Heard Walking Down Valencia in the Mission

"Is coniferous a word?"
"Coniferous!"
"No, CONIFEROUS!"
"Eating meat? That's carnivore, you idiot."
"Like a cone-bearing tree. Did I make that up?"

Yes, dear. You made up the word for a cone-bearing tree all by yourself.

Are You Tired of This Yet?

I kind of am, but I can't help myself. They so interesting...
I was soooo drunk when I took this picture that I'm not sure why I liked it. I guess cuz the guy in the top hat is saying, "Pud." Like I say, I was fuckin' drunk.

I guess some people in the Mission are feeling a little city angst.