Monday, June 26, 2006

The Toilet Report #1

So I'm now on a mission to uncover and bring into the harsh light of day the reality of men's toilets. I feel it is my duty to reveal the evilness of the facilities we are a) forced to use and b) make disgusting for others every day.

This lovely toilet is at my place of work. Now, I don't work at Billy Bob's strip club or the local Gas R Up. It's a Fortune 500 company. Every day I go into this bathroom and discover a little surprise. There is some guy who goes in there--again, every day--and delivers a poop with such force that it sticks to the back of the toilet and does not move no matter how often the toilet is flushed. I figure he lives on a strict diet of corn meal, sticky rice, and paste. Not only that, this colon blast comes out at such a trajectory that it nearly goes up and under the seat, a feat of physics that puzzles me endlessly.

Yes, I know this is sickening, but imagine looking at it every day. Plus, he always does it in the stall with the door that can't be easily closed. You know, the one where no matter how careful you are to try and get inertia to keep it shut will invariably creak back open once you move your hand slowly away.

So if you are as sick as I am you can click on the happy little face to see the real toilet of horrors I must face as a smiling employee each morning.

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